This part of my story leads me to where life seemed to speed up in time. As I look back at it now, with awakening came speed, reason and oh, such a darknight for my soul.Those of you that have had similar experiences, you know what I mean by that. Sometimes things get worse when you realize life is more than the mundane, day to day things. It hurts, causes anxiety, makes you cry a river for time lost and spirit forgotten for so damn long. Over the years I have had the occasion to talk to others that had a moment of awareness that changed their life. They tell stories of pretty colors that swirled around their head. The bright beautiful angel spoke and bam..... all of a sudden, like a fairy godmother's gift, they are changed. Then they jump for joy and keep walking with their new perspectives and purpose without missing a beat.. Well, not this girl, not me. It was more like suddenly remembering the claustrophobic brain squishing experience of moving through the birth canal in the dark. A stalled birth, needing to be yanked from the warm darkness into the blinding light. Landing flat on my ass in the mud puddle of emotional mess I had allowed my mind and body to become. When we are born into this life we forget. Have no memory of where we were or why we are here. This process for me was the opposite. A birth into remembering, painful as it was, I am forever grateful.
I became a sponge, absorbing all the knowledge I could soak up about energy, healing and spirituality. I attended workshops and classes, read books such as the "Tiebetin book of the dead" like it was candy. If you have never heard of it..... Believe me it is not an easy read! I went to the fantastic workshop given by the same teacher as my first. Her name was Sara, I so looked up to her for answers.The workshop was seven weeks. Each week explored one of the seven chakras (in eastern medicine they concidered energy center of the body.) Each week we would lay down to listen to her voice guide us in meditation. I swear to God, I would lay there for 10 blissful minutes before my body deceived me. My heart would race and skip, I would feel so much fear. Of what? You ask. I was scared to death to relax and be in my body. It was absolutely the scariest place on earth! I went to my first Reiki class (hands on healing.) They give you an exchange of energy during these classes, it is called an attunment. About 30 of us sat in a semi circle awaiting our turns for our attunment. Again, I was so nervous. A few days after that class, I started to cry. I cried for 3 days straight. My husband drove me to work one day. I sat like a wounded soldier, stunned and silent. Then the tears flowed, He ask, "why are you crying?" In his not so tolerant way around tears. I couldn't even speak. My heart was braking from the inside out as if my child had died. Why was I crying? Not a flipping clue! Apparently I had a lot of emotion stored up in my sore tired body.The tears were medicine, cleansing me inside and out. All this emotion about somethng invisible made me feel a bit crazy in the head. At this point in my journey I was still "normal" and did not understand there was so much under the surface of me.
I began to explore the process of guided imagery. I was still struggling with chronic sinus infections I had mentioned earlier. I decided I wanted to try healing myself using imagery and the chakra system. I would practice when I woke in the morning, still in my bed. Go to the bathroom at work in the middle of the day, sit on the toilet totally clothed and breath in the colors until my head was clear and I heard my sinuses pop.Then again before I went to bed .Breathing into all of my energy centers with color and intention.I began to float in my body during these times, feeling like I was a bit high. Losing the sense of where my body ended and the rest of the room began. Such a peaceful and unnerving feeling for me at the time. My sinuses began to pop and crackle each session. Until after a few weeks, my headaches went away.No more sinus issues even till this day.
To help understand the reasons for my sinus issues. I will explain. Up until then, I was living my life at a run. Totally oblivious to my needs. My energy was focused on the upper parts of my body. I lived in my head. Perfect example is when you are driving somewhere and arrive with the words "Wow, how did I get here so fast? I don't even remember the drive!" That would be the oppostive of being present and grounded. That was my day to day life. If I was present I would have remembered the drive and realized I had derailed a long time ago. My body left behind, leaving me with just a big stuffed head. If I had grounded myself, meaning payed attention to where my feet stood and how my body and heart felt..... forget it! I didn't even know how at the time. But, now I was learning the hard way. One deep breah and spinning of my energy centers at a time.
Another one of my favorite stories...... I was exploring guided imagery by myself for the first time .Just relaxing and letting the pictures come into my mind as they wanted to. I took a few deep breaths and envisioned a bridge to move over into my imagination.Even changed my clothes in my mind to something flowing and comfortable. As I came to the end of the bridge I could see this beautiful home. Not one from this time and place, but I knew it was my home, the one that I have always known throughout all time.I passed a fountain in the front part of the beautifully tended grounds and approached the stairs to the grand double front doors. I remember them in such detail. Intricately carved beautiful wooden doors, weathered with age in a way that they become more magical with maturity. I could perceive the difference between my resting self and my waking self in this alternitive place. I was bewildered by the way it flowed as if watching a movie that I could step into with ease. It played out by itself, unbeknownst to me that I was in charge in the strange new place. My emotions were calm and interested. I was so amazingly innocent to the process of self realization and discovery.I walked up the stairs, coming to a intricately carved, huge wooden double door.This place I have come very accustomed to over the years. I know this house inside and out, exploring it over and over like a new mother with her newborn baby. I am approaching the doors, I knock and see it open. I am so excited that I am able to do this all by myself. I feel so mystical! A man steps out, all dressed up in old fashioned clothing, looks at me and punches me in the face! True story! No words, no "how are you?"... just a right cross to my jaw. In my infancy, I had no idea that I was in control of this vision. I just walked away in my imagery, head held down in hurt. Why would this stranger in my head, come out and punch me? Today I know that that would have been an opportunity for learning and healing. At that moment, I treated it as I did many things in my life at that time. I reacted like a victim... powerless and without a voice .Later that day, I called my teacher, Sara.Telling my story of woe, ending with "why would he do that?" Her response was "did you ask him why he hit you?" Well, of course I did not. This was the beginning of my trip down the road to better self esteem. As I look back it makes me smirk. How far I have come in knowing myself and how familer I have become with the meaning of the word epiphany.
Side Note: The rest of the story about "The Girl in Pieces" is coming soon.
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My name is Christina Laughton. I live in the country in NC. I have made it a long standing practice study ways to achieve health and peace in life through allowing your true self to be seen. I have fostered many unusual abilities such as seeing, hearing and sensing the usually unseen. Then finding the understanding of how to apply this to your life, to bring a balance to your mind, body and spirit. When in alignment with yourself you will always bring healing to all parts of your life.